


wake up, say good morning to (that sleepy person)

by quillandinktwink



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: ...theres gotta be a better tag for that, Character Study, F/F, Healing, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Violence, Kissing, Melanie King - centric, Recovery, kind of mind control aftermath and recovery but thats a misleading tag so, this is because i played the archive sim and got Melanie King FeelingsTM, violence and self harm being... fucking up your eyes with an awl intended for use in bookbinding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27332125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quillandinktwink/pseuds/quillandinktwink
Summary: Melanie looks down at the awl.An exploration of Melanie between the archives and the apocalypse.
Relationships: Georgie Barker/Melanie King
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	wake up, say good morning to (that sleepy person)

**Author's Note:**

> ok tw for:  
> sort of onscreen (although not described) eye trauma  
> hospitals  
> implied suicidal thoughts? not really but if you scan one bit its kind of there  
> anger issues

Melanie looks down at the awl. Distantly, it occurs to her that this will be the last thing she sees, at least if she does it right. The last face she sees will be Jon’s, looking at her with that indescribable mix of pity and awe and fear and jealousy and other emotions she doesn’t want to think about. She can’t lose her nerve now.

She opens her phone and scrolls to a picture of her and Georgie. It’s a far better final image than the ugly little awl.

She thinks, grimly, that it won’t matter if she stains her phone’s screen – she’ll hardly be able to see it if it does. She grits her teeth and raises the awl.

_(it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts so much)_

***

In the haze of screams and sirens and voices and _pain, so much pain_ between the institute and the ambulance and the hospital, Melanie recalls an article she read about Eigengrau, the colour that scientists hypothesise blind people see. She wonders if that’s the colour she’s “seeing” now.

_(she wonders how much of it is blood and how much is the nothing of eigengrau)_

***

They try to salvage as much of her eyes and sight as they can. The doctors and nurses and surgeons tell her over and over that she’s lucky she’s able to even perceive the lights turning on and off in the room she’s in. She disagrees. Is this light enough to keep her tied to the Institute? Can the Eye still see through this? She can still imagine in images, for now at least (the emergency therapist they assigned her has warned her that that might go as well), so she reconsiders the awl. Wonders how much more she could do.

She doesn’t sleep well in the hospital. The drugs stem the pain, but make her existence hazy around the edges, blur the lines between consciousness and lack thereof. Half of the time she’s awake is spent asking whether she’s dreaming or not. Eventually, after the longest stretch of time she cannot tell the length of, she is allowed visitors. A nurse with a kind voice tells her this, and she just nods at them (notes the worry in their voice, hears the jangle of the pins on their lanyard, remembers the first foggy conversation where she mumbled her pronouns to them, hurled back into the practices of her uni’s GSA by her brain’s attempts to make sense of herself) and sinks back into the confusing doze she lives in.

She wakes up and forgets where she is and panics when she can’t see. What’s in her arm, why can’t she see why can’t she get up where is she _why can’t she see._ Georgie’s voice finally filters through to her, calming and recognisable and _there_ and she breathes and slowly, returns. She remembers.

And Georgie is there now, and Georgie is safe, and Georgie knew she was going to do it and stuck with her and she isn’t alone anymore, and she cries. Crying is different now, but she supposes that the awl didn’t get to the tear ducts or wherever tears come from. Maybe a gland? Basira would know.

Remembering the archival staff has her crying again. Georgie doesn’t judge, just holds her and soothes her as she lets it out. Her girlfriend is just so good and – oh, she’s crying again. Emotional day, she supposes.

When she’s finally calmed down, Georgie wipes the tears away and they sit in silence for a bit. Neither of them quite know what to say. Eventually, Melanie gets out a request for updates on what’s happened since she’s gone, voice rusty from disuse and sleep and tears. George inhales, then exhales, and begins to talk. Melanie listens.

_(she cries again. it hurt to leave them, and it hurts to know they’re still stuck there suffering)_

***

After Melanie’s okay enough to answer the questions (which she lies over, probably unconvincingly, but the lies are believable enough to get her out, so), she’s given a prescription, a cane, some advice, and Georgie takes her hand. They walk out of the hospital together.

When she hears the automatic doors slide open, she half-expects to see everything again. Perhaps it was all a bad dream brought on by drugs. Perhaps the Eye’s influence was too strong, and she’ll just be able to see again when she leaves the safety of the hospital.

She doesn’t. This is her life now.

_(the sense of light outside the hospital is the only vision she has now)_

***

Life with Georgie is, in a word, bittersweet. She weans off the pain meds, and steadily rediscovers her ability to get up and walk around Georgie’s flat. She walks into furniture a lot at first, and sometimes it’s so frustrating she cries or wants to yell and throw blows and hurt –

She refuses to. Anger is still uncomfortably easy for her, but she’s _out_ , now, and she’s got her therapy, and she _won’t go back_ to the version of her that she left in the Archives.

_(she’s begun to think of the Archives with a capital A – there was Something there, and that’s capitalised too)_

***

Eventually, Melanie gets used to navigating their flat (at some point it stopped being just Georgie’s and started being hers too), and begins to talk to Georgie about the possibility of getting a guide dog. They’d have to move – their flat doesn’t allow more than one pet, after all – but Melanie thinks it would help with navigation and Georgie reads up on mental health support animals and thinks it would help with most aspects of Melanie’s life and they cuddle up on the sofa with the Admiral and begin to make plans for that.

It’s peaceful. She’s stopped having nightmares now, and doesn’t fear the eye being there, especially since the Archives staff have started feeling able to visit and Jon has confirmed he can’t See her anymore. She’s beginning to heal, she thinks.

_(you don’t deserve this, the voice in the back of her head whispers. you will lose this and it will be all the better for them)_

***

Life is good. She laughs, and Georgie teaches her how to dance, and even though she _can’t see what Georgie is demonstrating, honestly babe,_ she eventually picks it up. And has a good time, and that’s more important to both of them. The others visit sometimes, and Georgie cooks or Melanie orders takeout, and Melanie can joke with them now.

The Admiral starts chirping at her to warn when he's about to get trodden on - never liked to be the one to move aside for others.

She buys sunglasses, and rotates her favourite pairs around – even though it's only just October, she looks at Halloween pairs online with her nerd girlfriend and laughs at the novelty jack o lantern ones that Georgie describes to her until she cries – and adapts to dressing when she can’t tell what matches (it helps that she always preferred blacks and only a few bits of colour made their way into her wardrobe).

_(she gets better at shutting the voice down. she deserves this. she deserves the happiness and the loving girlfriend and the close friends, and she will keep them and love them)_

***

The world ends.

Melanie doesn’t notice at first, apart from noting a minor light change when heavy clouds weren’t forecast for today. She’s walking to the living room to collapse on the sofa for a bit, when she hears Georgie gasp. She tries to navigate her way to the sound (still a bit new to the concept of “echolocation skills” as Georgie calls them) and Georgie grabs her hand and walks her to the window. She sits under the windowsill holding the Admiral and watches the light change and listens as Georgie narrates it all. The storms, the buildings changing, the people changing below, and the Eye.

They grab what they can. Dressing up in the most practical clothes they each wear, grabbing Melanie’s cane and as much as they can think to carry (Georgie has the Admiral in one of those ridiculous bubble backpacks that Melanie used to make fun of her for. She's glad for it now). Melanie reaches out for Georgie’s hand, and Georgie holds it and pulls her into a hug. She leans down to kiss Melanie, and they separate.

_(they open the door and walk out hand in hand)_

**Author's Note:**

> song title from in our bedroom after the war by stars (it slaps)  
> link to [the archives sim](https://dashingdon.com/play/sazandorable/archives-sim/mygame/index.php) (excellently written, im trying to get every achievement)
> 
> thank you for reading! this is the first fic ive written for tma, and the first fic ive written in a while. hope you enjoyed! validation is my lifeblood so please drop comments or kudos if you did.


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